


Jewels Beyond Measure

by thehyperactivesammich



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Bilbo is a sneaky little hobbit, M/M, Thief AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-01-06
Updated: 2013-01-09
Packaged: 2017-11-23 21:57:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/626944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thehyperactivesammich/pseuds/thehyperactivesammich
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a world where Bilbo Baggins is secretly the greatest thief Middle-earth has ever known, the hobbit joins Thorin's Company with the end objective of stealing the Arkenstone. Feelings and stupidly handsome dwarves threaten to crumble his resolve.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>This work will updated sporadically and often with many weeks between chapters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Sat down to write Chapter Five of The Burglar' s Predicament and this came out instead. Wut. Just. Idk.
> 
> In writing this, I managed to start filling one of my own prompts on hobbit- kink. FAIL. FAIL FAIL FAIL. *faceplant*
> 
> Okay, and now I'm off to really go write Chapter Five of The Burglar' s Predicament, I SWEARS.

xxxxxxxxxx

The first thing Bilbo Baggins ever stole was a piece of his mother's prized silverware.

He was ten, it was shiny and silver, and it basically just slipped into his fingers without him even thinking about it. That was all the reason Bilbo needed to hide it in his room and never tell his mother, who eventually gave up looking for the elusive fourteenth silver spoon.

Once he started, he couldn't stop. 

He stole mostly small things in his adolescent days, like carrots from Farmer Gaggot's fields, or a toy from little Johnny Cotton. The important family heirlooms or items with sentimental value that slipped their way into his fingers always eventually found their way into the Lost-and-Found, so no one thought too hard about all the items that went missing in the Shire.

At seventeen, Bilbo stole an ancient text about elves from the library. The bookkeeper grumbled for weeks about the 'important, ancient artifact' that went missing, and how it was his 'only copy'.

'Elvish Customs and the Elven Tongue' never found its way back to the library. Instead, it lived under Bilbo's bed and many of the hobbit's nights were spent reading we'll into the morning.

xxxxxxxxxx

When Bilbo was twenty-four, he left the Shire with a gaggle of his Took cousins to explore Middle-earth.

(And by explore, he meant traveling around taking things from people. Stealing was such a harsh word, after all...)

They searched Middle-earth far and wide, traveling between friendly cities of all races, slipping things into pockets and planning much more elaborate schemes that often took weeks.

Because hobbits were small, easily overlooked, and could often pass unnoticed if they wished, it took a very long time for anyone to link the thefts together, and even longer to link them to the Jewel Crew, as Colin Brandybuck had began to jokingly refer to them as.

Time went on, and none of them were caught. Eventually his cousins voted him leader, and Colin dubbed him Nightfingers, due to the fact that objects always seemed to find their way into Bilbo's hands, even if he hadn't made the conscious effort for it to happen.

The year Bilbo turned thirty-one, everything came crashing down.

They weren't even working a proper job, just enjoying the sunshine as they strolled through the streets of a dwarves/men mixed town, past the blacksmiths and into the markets. And if coins slipped into Bilbo's hands, it was nit from conscious thought, more from the ease and habit of many years of practice.

Bilbo would never know what happened exactly. All he knew for sure was that, at the end of the chaos, Alice Took was cradling Colin's body in her arms, and heavy hearts echoed through their beings.

They returned to the Shire and disbanded. Bilbo, having acquired enough money to retire, settled down in Bag End, and became a respectable, if a bit odd, hobbit. Although coins and small worthless items still found their way into Bilbo's fingers, nothing of any sort of importance disappeared in Bag End anymore, and one day the librarian returned to his desk to find his long-lost elven book.

Life in the Shire was peaceful for Bilbo, and any stray longings for the life of a thief disappeared at the thought of Colin's cold, dead face.

Many years passed in simple fashion, until one night he found himself host to a slew of rowdy dwarves and a very amused wizard.

The ends of his fingertips buzzed with the prospect of adventure, and Bilbo promised himself to at least hear the dwarves out.

xxxxxxxxxx


	2. The Thief of Bag End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because apparently i am unable to write anything that resembles a long chapter.
> 
> I don't even know.
> 
> Also I took some liberties with this chapter, because there is no way thief!Bilbo would pass up a chance to get his hands on some gold.

As it was, Bilbo was not freaking out from the many dwarves in his home, singing and tossing his dishware about. He'd only protested once ("Those are my mother's dishes!"), and the dwarves seemed rather surprised when he was only amused by the pile of clean dishes at the end of it all.

He was also doing a rather good job of curbing his thieving tendencies, having only taken one item from each dwarf as they bumped into him. A large, round token from Balin; an arrowhead from Kíli; a bead from Fíli; a square piece of knitting from Ori; and from all the rest, a small piece of coin each.

He was beginning to enjoy their company when the doorbell rang, yet again; the dwarves quieted, and Gandalf smiled. "Ah. The last of our company has arrived. Shall I fetch him, then?"

Bilbo raised an eyebrow, not putting up a word of complaint as Gandalf opened the door, and a dark-haired dwarf stepped in.

"My apologies for being late," The newcomer said, stamping his feet on the mat by his door. Bilbo sucked in a breath; here was the leader of the Company, majestic and regal in appearance. "I lost my way; and would not have found this place if not for the mark on the door."

Bilbo huffed. "Really, Gandalf?" He asked, catching the attention of the newcomer, who paid him only a second of interest before brushing past him into the dining room to join the other dwarves. "You marked up my door?"

The wizard just smiled, an amused twinkle in his eye. "I will pay to have it repainted, my dear hobbit. Come, let us join your guests."

xxxxxxxxxx

It took a lot longer to realize that the dark-haired dwarf in his dining room was Thorin Oakenshield, rightful King Under the Mountain, then Bilbo was comfortable with, but he made no mention of it. He realized, of course, right away, what the thirteen dwarves were doing in Bag End when Gandalf brought up the subject of their Burglar.

Thorin grunted, eyeing Bilbo in distaste. "And this-this hobbit, then, is your choice for the fourteenth member of my company?"

The hobbit bristled, but Gandalf spoke before Bilbo could get a chance. "Hobbits are light on their feet, and can pass unnoticed by most if they choose. Smaug is also accustomed to the smell of Dwarves, but the scent of a hobbit he knows not."

"Smaug? Did you say Smaug? As in, Smaug the Terrible?" Bilbo asked, face going a little white. The Jewel Crew had taken care to steer clear of dragons, but no one traveled Middle-earth without hearing tales of the fire drake.

"Aye," Bofur grinned. "Think furnace, with wings."

"Dear me," Bilbo muttered, and Thorin's face screwed up into a sneer.

"This is no burglar, wizard; this is a grocer!"

Fire cut through Bilbo's veins, and the hobbit could feel the fury in his voice as he spoke. "I am no grocer, Master Thorin." He drew the token from his pocket, holding it up for all to see before tossing it to Balin (the older dwarf looked shocked; apparently he had not noticed it was missing). "It is ill will to insult someone in their home," He continued, making his way down and around the table to return each item to their respective owner.

Fíli especially looked aghast when Bilbo slipped the bead back into his palm.

The hobbit finally returned to his spot behind Gandalf, setting a simple silver chain in front of Thorin before leaning back against the wall behind him. 

The wizard looked amused as the dwarves began to murmur amongst themselves. "Well, then," Gandalf said. "The contract, perhaps...?"

Thorin looked furious, but motioned for Balin to pass over the contract.

Bilbo reached forward to grab the document from the older dwarf, unrolling it and humming as he began to read, aware of each and every dwarf gaze on him. He raised his eyebrows at some points (what did it mean, the duty of Burglar and 'any other duties/services which may seem fit'? Fire safety enforcer?), but eventually nodded, drew a quill from his pocket, and dipped it in the ink sitting on a sidetable within reach. 

He made his signature dark and clear. There was no respectable thief, after all, that had not heard of Erebor's most precious treasure, and there was no way Bilbo was going to pass up the chance to get his hands on the Arkenstone.

**Author's Note:**

> Obviously, this is just the prologue. The rest of the chapters will be much longer in length.


End file.
